I´m not a Christian. Nor a Catholic. Nor have I been raised with any particular religion. But over my adult years I’ve come to read about various religious views and spiritual perspectives and collected beliefs and standpoints that resonate with me and created my personal home made religion if you will.
So, why bring God into the conversation of chronic illness?
Well, whether you believe in God -the Universe, Spirit, Source, Energy or another name you may give it- or not, there most likely has been at least one occasion where your experience of chronic illness was so immense, or has been here for so long, that you blamed something or someone outside of yourself.
You may have wondered where chronic illness has come from and why you’re the one experiencing it? You may have wondered if there is such a thing as a loving God or Spirit? And you may have wondered if there is, how a loving God or Spirit can allow such suffering in your life?
When suffering is present or has been for a long time, it is only natural you start asking questions. And when the pain and fatigue are so immense, it is only natural that anger surfaces and you want someone or something to be held responsible.
I know I’ve certainly gone through phases like these. And when my intellect cannot understand what’s going on and feels dissatisfied, this way of thinking and negativity can raise it´s sometimes very ugly head.
So, this article is not about that it´s bad to feel angry or that you shouldn’t feel angry or feel guilty about it. Anger is a very natural emotion and we all feel angry at times.
This article is about that even when you don´t understand what is going on, it is really your own thinking, the ego that is creating the chaos in your mind. The ego disagrees with what is happening and doesn’t like what is going on.
Whether you believe your chronic illness has a purpose in your life or message for you to learn from or not. Whether you believe God has something to do with it or not. Whether you believe God can heal chronic illness or not. The fact remains that you’re dealing with chronic illness, whether you like it or not.
So, there is a choice you can make.
You can stay in anger and blame. Or you can open up and trust that where you are now is where you are supposed to be and stop comparing your life with others.
Because that is usually the underlying cause for the anger and blame. The idea, the thinking, the fear, that who you are, as you are, is not enough. And all the stress that comes with that belief, worrying about the future and how everything is going to work out. Relationships, work, money, health.
Maybe, God, the Universe, Spirit, your inner wisdom, is trying to make you see just that: that it is you who is blaming yourself (for something on a deeper level) and that, despite your inner belief, you are enough as you are.
Chronic illness aids in stripping away all non-essentials in your life and untruths about you, so you may experience and embrace this truth.
Dealing with chronic illness and these questions aren’t always easy. And I too have my own inner struggles with chronic illness from time to time. But as chronic illness is here, maybe we can open ourselves to a different perspective that dissipates the painful thinking of the ego and brings us closer to the truth of who we really are.
Do you blame God for chronic illness? Do you blame yourself? Or do you believe you are not enough? Please share your comment below. I´d love to hear from you.