When you experience rheumatoid arthritis in your life you want to heal and feel better again. No more chronic pain. No more chronic fatigue. But despite what you say and think, you may have an inner saboteur that wants nothing of the sort.
As ridiculous as this may seem, despite your very sincere desire to heal, there is a very good chance that you don’t want to heal rheumatoid arthritis.
When I say ‘you’ I mean a subconscious part of your mind. This part of you has no interest in healing or changing how things are. It doesn’t like change at all. Even though consciously it would be absolutely mad to want to continue experiencing chronic pain and fatigue.
On a subconscious level rheumatoid arthritis is serving you. It is helping you and protecting you. It is actually on your side. Despite what you may think, rheumatoid arthritis is not your enemy and something to fight to get rid of.
From a spiritual healing point of view, it has come into your life to show you something about you. It arose out of love for you.
So how can you find out whether or not you have an inner saboteur that is happy with how things are and is blocking your efforts to heal rheumatoid arthritis?
One evening some 7 years ago I was making a top ten list of things I really desired in my life and I noticed healing and radiant health was not on the number one spot.
Even more strangely, healing rheumatoid arthritis and radiant health wasn’t even on the list!
How could that be? I always said I wanted to heal and I had been looking for years to heal or at least lessen the chronic pain I was experiencing.
I realised then that there could very well be a part of me that did not want me to heal, as astonishing as that seemed to me. So I sat down, grabbed a piece of paper, and with some dread I wrote down the following sentence:
‘I do not want to heal, because..’
I knew that if my hand started writing there was already one reason, one part of me unbeknownst to me, sabotaging my healing.
My hand started to write within seconds. One sentence came out, then another, and another. Each time after each sentence I delved more deeply by asking ‘because’, so I could get to the true motive that was resisting healing.
Once I discovered the real cause it made perfect sense to me and I understood why that part of me had no intention of healing, because by remaining in this state that part of me was safe and thought it would receive what it so desperately needed and wanted.
Want to find out if you may have an inner saboteur that is blocking your healing? Here’s what you can do:
- Sit down and write down the sentence: ‘I do not want to heal, because..’. Then allow yourself to be open to what comes up. Do not think. Do not intervene by protesting. You are communicating with a deeper part of yourself that has a very good reason for being here.
- Delve deeper by asking ‘because’ each time, till you get to a point where you feel you’ve found the cause.
- Sit with it. Take some time and be present with that part of yourself that has just revealed itself to you.
Realise this part of you has been doing its best to help you. Appreciate and thank it and send compassion to that part of you.
By exploring a deeper part of yourself, by asking yourself questions you may not want to ask, you can start healing rheumatoid arthritis by healing parts of yourself that need your loving attention and awareness.